


Darling, Just Hold My Hand

by lucianowriter



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Fluff, Love and Appreciation, M/M, bed confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucianowriter/pseuds/lucianowriter
Summary: Mickey and Ian are now married, but that doesn't stop Ian's mind from wandering."Monica would've loved today."ORPure Gallavich fluff where they discuss love despite their beginnings.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 2
Kudos: 118





	Darling, Just Hold My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! 
> 
> This is my first Gallavich fic in over a year. I haven't written for the boys in quite a while and I think it's beautiful that the first time I reapproach them is with a fluffy one-shot that really shows just how deep their bond is. These two are meant for each other and no one else.
> 
> Please be gentle, I'm not 100% sure I got the characterizations correct considering it has been so long. 
> 
> Most importantly -- ENJOY!

“Monica would’ve loved today.”

Debbie’s words run through his head as he holds his husband tight and dances to the music. Ian puts his head into Mickey’s shoulder and caresses his neck to keep the tears at bay. All his mom had ever wanted for him was to find someone who loves him as he is.

When he had first heard his mom’s words he’d interpreted them incorrectly and used that as fodder to break up with Mickey. But he knew without a doubt that there was only one person on this earth who would love and understand him as he deserved. Mickey could have easily walked away after each mistake Ian made in which Mickey was collateral damage. Instead, the man kept coming back never once faltering in his love for Ian.

He turns his head ever so slightly and whispers into Mickey’s ear, “This is the best day of my life. I love you.”

Mickey doesn’t say anything but he does turn his head into Ian’s neck and gives an ear to ear grin. Ian will never admit it out loud but he loves it when Mickey smiles into his skin. Getting a smile out of Mickey used to be such a hard feat that knowing he’s the reason for it makes Ian’s heart swell.

Not for the first time, Ian wonders if Mickey is thinking about his own mother. Especially today. Are thoughts of his mom counteracting his anger at Terry? Is Mickey hugging him close and also wondering what his mom would’ve thought of their wedding day?

The rest of the reception passes by in a blur. Ian has honestly never felt more grounded in his whole life. It’s like the band on his finger now holds him down to earth. In a liberating way, not the constricting way he assumed. Mickey is the happiest Ian has ever seen him and it gives him so much joy knowing that he plays a big part in that.

They’ve both been through enough shit to last them a lifetime, but maybe now the universe will just let them live for a bit — enjoy each other. Ian believes it more than anything as they drive away and their families fall behind. Mickey hasn’t let go of his hand since getting in the car. It’s the most physical he has ever been and Ian kinda likes it. He turns his head and the two share a knowing smile — nothing can touch this happiness, nothing.

Hours later they are together in their hotel room simply holding onto one another. They lay there side by side not speaking, just breathing in and out. Silence has never felt more comfortable for Ian than when he is with Mickey. The dark-haired man is currently drawing shapes into Ian’s bare chest as they lay there in each other’s embrace. 

“Thinking about your mom?” Mickey’s words come out of nowhere in a voice gentle and loving. No one else on this earth knew Ian’s head quite like Mickey. Except maybe his mom.

With a deep sigh, Ian snuggles closer to his husband allowing the touch to answer for him. Mickey knew. He always knew.

It takes a good half hour, but finally, Ian is ready to speak. 

“Despite her being as unstable as she was my mom was always my biggest supporter. I would tell her everything about us and she would be so happy I’d found love.”

Mickey doesn’t say anything. Ian appreciates his silence because it allows him to gather his thoughts more clearly. He’s told Mickey about Monica but not about her involvement in their relationship.

“When I ran off it was because I thought I could run from the idea of becoming her. I thought I had a better handle on things than she did — that I wasn’t going to become her. But I came back when I realized being around her would turn me into her.”

“I grew up watching as her illness pulled Frank into her irresponsibility and further away from us. They were no good for each other. So when I came back I was terrified of turning you into my version of Frank. You had been through enough shit from your own family, you deserved to have a relationship you could rely on.”

“But I was wrong. You going to prison helped me see that my choice to break us up wasn’t what you needed. So I vowed to get my shit together and be worthy of you again. My mom once told me that I deserved to have someone who loved me for me and didn’t try to change me.”

Ian pauses and places a kiss on Mickey’s head. The action grounds him again and he continues.

“I was an idiot who thought she meant you could never be that for me. But then you were gone and I tried to find your stability in other relationships, but I couldn’t. That’s why I ran to you when you came back.”

Mickey interlocks their fingers and bites his bottom lip. Ian knows he is thinking and wants to say something but doesn’t know how.

“When you left me at the border was that —.” Mickey can’t even finish his question but Ian knows what he’s trying to say.

“Once again I was trying to not be like her. She would’ve dropped everything and ran and never looked back. In fact, that was her constant state of being for most of my life. I had to be better than her. I couldn’t allow myself to become her.”

“You never were; her I mean,” Mickey whispers. The words much like everything about him are emotionally guarded.

“My mom would’ve loved today. She would’ve loved the party, but mostly she would’ve loved to see me stable, happy, and in love. She was always Team Ian and Mickey even if she didn’t always come out and say it.”

A silence falls between them once more. Ian wants so badly to ask Mickey what he’s thinking about — his thoughtful gaze to the ceiling gives him away. However, Ian knows that Mickey will talk when he wants to. Ian wonders if it’s his own mom, considering just that morning Mickey mentioned her for the first time in years.

Ian had never met Mickey’s mom because she left before Mickey and Ian were more than just a casual fuck every now and then. Ian never asked about her because family was always a touchy subject with Mickey — considering his father that was no surprise.

Against his better judgment, Ian tightens his hold on his husband and breaks the silence. 

“Would you have invited your mom?”

“The fuck you ask that for, Gallagher?” Mickey’s defenses are raised and Ian knows he’s gearing up for a fight.

“Well, we were talking bout my mom and I thought…” Ian trails off. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

“We were talkin bout your crazy family so you thought it was a good idea to bring up mine? Ian, my dad wants to  _ murder us _ .” Mickey gets up and practically yells the last two words.

“You mentioned your mom this morning for the first time in years so I thought maybe you were thinking of yours too.” Ian lets the sheet pool in his lap as he sits up and watches Mickey stand a few feet away and clench his fist.

“I was talking about my dad! To show how much he deserves to die!” Mickey is huffing out words, but his eyes tell a different story. Behind Mickey’s tough exterior has always stood a broken boy who just wants nice things — like love.

Ian trudges forward knowing that what Mickey needs is a little push. “She would’ve loved it.”

“You don’t know shit!”

“I know that by all accounts you should be a total asshole who doesn’t know what love is. Instead, you know it better than anyone I’ve ever met — even more than Kev and V. That has to come from somewhere.”

“Maybe I’m just doing the opposite of  _ him _ .” Mickey shrugs, his defenses lowering just a little bit.

“Maybe. But I don’t think even that would be enough for you to know what it means to truly love someone and care about them above everything else.” Ian motions for Mickey to rejoin him on the bed. When he does Ian continues, “Does being the opposite of Terry mean risking your life to be there for me in prison? Does it mean making sure I stay on my meds? Does it mean never giving up no matter how much I push you away?”

“She used to hide us in her closet whenever Terry would come home high, drunk, or both,” Mickey whispers, finally relinquishing all hold he has on his walls.

“A couple of times when I was sick she would hold me and brush my hair back as I fell asleep. But then I got older and she left.” And just like that, the wall was back up. 

Ian knew that Mickey would talk when he wanted to. His brief interlude was all he wanted to say about his mom. To Ian that was more than enough. In order to bring Mickey back Ian pulls him into an embrace and kisses him long and sensually. 

He knew that Mickey didn’t like thinking about his past because even with the good there was so, so much bad. If anyone knew what that was like it was Ian. He sometimes wonders if Mickey doesn’t talk about his mom because he blames her for leaving him at the mercy of Terry. 

Ian vows to make sure that from this day forward he won’t let anyone — not even Terry — break their happiness. And he knows that Mickey will always do the same for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please review and leave kudos. They really encourage me to continue doing this crazy thing called writing.


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